Cool Greys 11 About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be approached at
Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: [link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
About The Author
[i]This article was posted on November
Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 22, 2004
I am a woman, 42, who 3 years antecedent married a wonderful man who will be 48 on his afterward birthday. I love him quite, very many. The merely problem is our sex life is horrible. Pretty many nonexistent. I can safely say we have had sex perhaps 20 times in our 6 year relationship.
When I've tried numerous periods to speak to him, he gets defensive and says, "There's nothing erroneous with me." He also says, if I ambition to have sex,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I ought just say so. But while I make advances, he moves me away thinking I am playing with him. Then he leaves the chamber. Of way I obtain frustrated, out of the mood, and give up.
I love my husband so much I don't make a huge handle of it, notwithstanding I know this is not normal or healthy. I can't get him to go to counseling or argue this. I am at my sexual peak, and I am exhausted of dreaming of sex with additional men. I want our relationship to go, but I just don't know how much longer I can go on favor this.
Claire
Claire, you can work on planting a garden,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you can work on your heaviness detriment, you can work on your reading speed. But you cannot work on someone else's problem, unless they are willing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and failure is assured when they tell you they do not have a problem.
Thoreau said, "It takes 2 to speak the truth--one to speak and another to hear." Your husband will not hear or discuss reality,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the reality of the situation as you see it. You married him knowing he had this problem. Marriage does not cure a problem, it makes you a party to it for awhile.
Is this the hard course you had to study? That you cannot marry a man with a serious problem and anticipate to repair it.
Wayne & Tamara
Calling Her Bluff
I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years, and he is going via the longest divorce known to man. His soon-to-be ex knows of me and told him she is insanely envious. She makes my life complete perdition by e-mailing him sexual innuendoes, querying him for expensive gifts, and profession him one mean of 12 times a day.
I told him to hack the cord. If he wants to be with me, he has to protect me,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], be true to me, and make me feel secure in this relationship. We even tried counseling a few years behind, and then he cheated on me with her. Many times I told him to get on with this divorce or I would be gone, but it doesn't appear to horrify him anymore.
How do I get my point across to this man, and do I have anybody grounds to differentiate this woman to leave him alone and just tend to her children?
Paige
Paige, the 1 entity which may set you free is to look on this position from a alter point of view. He didn't fool on you with her. She's his wife. He's cheating on her with you. You depict her as his soon-to-be ex, but "soon-to-be ex" is a term extra likely to describe your future,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not hers.
You threaten and threaten to depart, and you never do. Bluffing in poker may be nice strategy, yet bluffing in life is languid. Once your bluff is called, you've lost entire power and all credibility. And counseling? Think about how funny namely is. You went because relationship counseling with a man in a matrimony to dissimilar woman.
Why do you keep plodding ahead? Because you want to be married. There is nothing wrong with that. But you cannot wed somebody who is yet married. There is a easy solution. Don't give up wanting to be married, just give up married men.
Wayne & Tamara

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